this is how you should measure success
“If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all.” - Anna Quindlen
Man oh man. This quote really hit me when I first read it.
We’re taught from a young age that we want to be successful. We go to school, or get a job, or do whatever we choose to do, to find success.
But what does that even mean? Society’s view of success? Our family’s? Our friends?
It doesn’t make sense to use any of these definitions if they’re not what YOU actually define as success.
There’s this concept called the arrival fallacy, which is essentially believing that once you reach “X” [insert whatever the goal or defined metric of success is], you’ll be happy. But the fallacy is that once you get there, any happiness you do feel is usually fleeting, and then the goalposts move further away. On to the next goal or version of success.
It’s an endless cycle, and if you’re pursuing the wrong end goal, or using the wrong metrics for success, you won’t actually find happiness.
Success has to be what YOU want it to be. YOUR definition.
And do you know what the reality is? Even if the definition of success that’s etched in your brain is YOUR definition that you created, if “success” is some destination, far off in the future, chances are you’ll fall victim to the arrival fallacy.
I think a better definition of success is what you’re doing on the way to your goals.
It’s good to have direction. You want to have some kind of heading when you set sail. But to be tied too closely to that destination is perilous. In the interests of creating a kind of “longevity of happiness”, the focus needs to switch to the outputs that will move you in the direction of that end goal. And, ideally, you cultivate a set of outputs that create enjoyment or at least positive traction for you, regardless of whether you’ve reached your destination yet or not.
That’s how I measure my success: by defining the outputs that push me towards my goals (and finding ways to enjoy those actions). This way, all I have to do is show up and do meaningful work, and I’m already successful.
Despite this, I’ve fallen victim to the arrival fallacy way too often. I still do, all the time. But having changed my metrics to be evaluation of my OUTPUTS as opposed to my end goal has made it a lot easier to steer my attention back where it needs to be.
I’ve seen a lot of success (pun intended) utilizing this approach with my rehab and training clients as well. There’s less of an arrival fallacy here—for almost everyone I work with, the end goal is to become pain-free. There’s really not a let-down that comes with reaching that point, because pain is the f#$%ing worst, and getting out of it can be literally life-changing. There’s also not a ton of “happiness” to be had along the journey, at least not in the same sense as in the context of greater career or life success.
However, because the journey through physical therapy isn’t linear or predictable, a focus on outputs is invaluable. Redefining success as something more immediate and measurable, such as “getting x workouts done” or “improving your control on this exercise compared to last week”, is a phenomenal way to shift the metric for success from something outside your control to something very much within your control. It can be incredibly empowering to regain control of some form of movement in your life, even in the presence of pain, and doing this makes it a hell of a lot more likely that you’ll stick with the process of physical therapy (and actually make it to the goalposts) than if the goalposts are your only definition of success.
